Scardogan
Isn't a thing fine an comfy noo?
There's even carpets in the loo
Bit sixty eer ago an mair
The watteries were sae caul an bare
Nae fancy coloured toilet roll
Nae bonny pot - a timmer hole
Ye'd nae fine ony carpet here
Some crackit waxcloth on the fleer
A timmer sheddie - sax by fower
Leanin like the Eiffel Tower
An cracks - far howlin win blew in
The reef a roostie sheet o' tin
The W.C. for Water Closet
Ye spent nae time on yer deposit
For fegs there wis nae comfort there
An caul on bits ye hid tae bare
Foo Water Closet? that beat me
For ilka een wis dry ye see
The fancy pot - a stable pail
I'll nae ging in tae mair detail
Upon the wa hung up wi threed
The Peoples Freen wis there tae read
It hid been torn intae squares
So ye jist sat there an said yer prayers
The seat wis aften roch an crackit
An files ye'd fin yer hin eyne hackit
Ye yarkit up yer drawers an sark
Five meenits - ye were back at wark
Bit noo adays they sit for ages
Hoastin - an turnin ower the pages
A cosy place tae sit an smoke
A safe seat & easy on the 'dock'
I dinna wint aul watteries back
Bit Lord be here the time they tak
There maun be oors an oors lost noo
Wi geein fowk a comfy Loo.