The Doric.

Mackie, Dr. Lewis

We hiv a queer dialect we use aroon here
Double Dutch it micht soon tae the Sassenach ear.
Doon sooth it gaes cause tae a few coarse remarks,
The braider the tongue the mair feel the cracks
We hae tae pit up wi'! If we tak aspersion
They'll snigger an grin an' show their aversion.

Bit bide we oor time an' ignore a' the chaff.
Jist let a' the unceevil crew hae their laugh.
There's nivver a problem in makkin oor words kent.
For the heids o' departments ken weel fit is meant.
They probably hid the same trouble themsel.
Sae be prood o' your dialect. Send Oxbridge tae hell!