Addison, Hazel L. R.
Mysel an a puckle wifies wi an 'oor or twa tae spare,
Took a daunner by the Legion haal tae see fit wis happenin there,
'Kiz we'd heard the soun o' music as we wanner't up the street,
An the tunes 'aat ful't the air , wir like magic tae oor feet,
The haal door it wis open, so we took a look inside
Faar teacher Jean wis staanin an she telt us jist tae bide,
Kiz she wis startin up line duncin an wis looking for a class,
So we jin't some ither wifies for an 'oor or twa tae pass.
"Richt than," teacher Jean begun, "maak lines across the fleer,
For them 'it canna see my feet I'll shout the instructions clear,
I'll show ye fit the steps are afore ye maak a stairt,
Syne dae yer best tae follow me fae the buddim o' yer hairt.
Grapevine tae the richt," she said, bit I gaed tae the left,
An collided wi a wifie faa'd pit on a bit o' weicht,
Twa steps forrit three steps back, I managed 'aat bit fine,
Bit made my steps jist unca laang an kickit the quine ahin.
"Step an close, step an close," the teacher shoutit oot,
"Heel an hook, heel an hook, an turn aa roon aboot",
A double dose o pigeon toes fair got me in a twist,
I totter't roon an syne fell doon an nearly broke my wrist,
She shouts "The next bit's tricky so I'll dae it really slow,
Jist aa watch fit I'm dae'in syne ye can hae a go,
It's front, side, behind, side, front an turn aroon,
Myn fin ye lift yer richt fit up tae keep yer left fit doon".
I thocht I'd really grasp't it an I wis dae'in swell,
Fin my freen Nan ahinn me let oot an almichty yell,
I thocht she cwidna dae't an me she did amaze,
Fin I heard her shout "Ye muckle gype. Yer staanin on my taes".
We did Kelly's Cannibals, Electric slide, an syne the Grundy gallop,
Ye coaster three, syne hitch yer knee an gie yersel a wallop,
Waltz across Texas, Romeo, a Boogie an Slappin Leather,
Shuffle, rock an pivot roon, nae time tae hae a blether.
The sark wis stickin tae my back, swyte rinnin doon my face,
As I did my best tae keep in line an keep up wi the pace,
An fin the class caam tae an ein I wis really pleas't tae see
There wis a lot o' wifies there a lot worse aff than me.
Weel I've been gaan 'eer noo for ower a year,
An tho Jean shouts the instructions clear,
I'll niver maak a duncer, naa, I'll niver win a prize,
Bit jist like the ither wifies 'eer I enjoy the exercise.