McKenna, Elizabeth
We got a new dominie at oor wee bit squeel,
A Sassanach, aye, bit nae a bad chiel,
Bit ae thing wis certain he'd nae clue at a
Fin we spoke wir ain tongue, he'd ging clean up the wa.
Queen's English, he'd say is what you require
If to useful employment you hope to aspire.
He insistit we ca oor denner, oor lunch.
An thocht we were aa a fair ignorant bunch.
He dreeled and he harried and gied's recitation
An efter a file, oot o sheer desperation,
The classics, he thocht that's what I will do
All seen hae them saying a cow, nae a coo.
It wisna ower lang till he brainwashed oor folk,
An some o oor mithers tried spikin pan loaf,
They fair thocht it richt for us bairns d' ye see
Bit King Lear an Shakespeare did nithing for me.
Bit fit dae ye think happint last wikk?
I wis telt that the Doric is fit we can spick
An aa you wee bairnies can say "Ere's a coo"
An a pigeon eence mair can be ca'ad cushie doo.