The Covid-19 pandemic brought about many changes in people’s lives. For Professor Ele Belfiore it brought to a head issues which she had wondered about since childhood – and a late diagnosis of ADHD.
Four years on from the start of lockdown and as part of National Neurodiversity Celebration Week (March 18-24), she is speaking about her experience to make others – and particularly women – aware of the signs and challenges of neurodiversity.
I was diagnosed with ADHD during the pandemic. I was living on my own again for the first time in more than 20 years when lockdown happened. I also had to shield which brought with it extra complications.
All the coping methods I usually rely on suddenly weren’t options and I found that I wasn’t managing.
I went into a spiral of crisis which I knew wasn’t right and I could not understand how I was struggling to such a degree with things that should be relatively simple, like household tasks. It was this that led to a diagnosis of ADHD which was unexpected at 45!
But I have been very fortunate to have incredible support. At first I wasn’t sure how open I wanted to be about my diagnosis but I realised that keeping quiet is what made me ill.
As an academic professor I felt it was important and also easier for me to talk and be open about ADHD. I decided to share my diagnosis and the positivity of the response was quite overwhelming. Aberdeen colleagues and the University have been great in terms of how they responded to me being open about this and in supporting me.
It is especially common for ADHD to be misdiagnosed in women and there is a silent revolution of women getting diagnoses later in life. When I’ve talked to people about my experience, they often recognise what I am saying either in themselves or others.
But there are still a lot of preconceptions around ADHD. People tend only to be aware of hyperactive rather than inattentive or combined ADHD and I have often heard it said that ‘if you have a PhD you can’t have ADHD’.
In fact ADHD is quite suited to life in academia. It’s not 9-5, can be quite frantic and is very much deadline driven. All things I need!
However, I cannot control what I focus on. I need to have an interest in it and when I am passionate about something my mind goes into overdrive and I can get something done in a few days that might take others a month.
But other tasks such as marking are a battle between myself and my brain.
If you asked me to present on a topic I know noting about in 30minutes time, I would be stressed but I would do it. But if you said ‘you have all afternoon to do three lots of washing and dry it’ I would be overwhelmed by stress and anxiety.
It is very frustrating to have an inability to make yourself do something which you know should be simple.
It is very hard to explain to anyone else just how frustrating and hard it is to make your brain focus. You know you would be much better to get it over with and relax and do something else but it doesn’t work that way.
The experience of Covid and the stripping back of those support networks exposed difficulties so many of us were masking. As universities, we need to be prepared to support those with conditions such as ADHD as the number of our students and colleagues with diagnoses is only likely to increase.
I want to play my part in raising awareness of all the different faces of ADHD and to increase understanding of the gendered dimension and how this can change its presentation.
Thank you for sharing your experience. There needs to be a much wider understanding and acceptance of neurodiversity in society and in the workplace. Everyone deserves the right to realise their potential and lack of investment impedes diagnosis for so many for so long.