Oonagh's funeral

Navigating competing values and suggestions

Jennie Riley and Vikki Entwistle consider how Oonagh's family might reason their way to an acceptable resolution from their diverse initial views about what should be done with Oonagh's body.

Looking at this case story, there appears to be no way of meeting Oonagh's wishes in full. It will not be possible to ensure she is both buried and with her husband and daughter, although there is an option to inter an urn of cremated ashes with them in the double grave. The decision about what to do with Oonagh's body is complicated by the fact that her living children have different views about what is appropriate or best. They all want to handle Oonagh's death in meaningful ways, but they bring different ideas and values to the discussion.

Apart from the practical considerations of what is feasible and what different options might cost in terms of money and convenience, Oonagh's children suggest various ideas that all connect somehow to aspects of Oonagh's life and relationships - to things that mattered to Oonagh and that perhaps matter as well to them. Some emphasise values related to Oonagh's religion. Some seek to honour Oonagh's marriage and Irish origins by laying her (ashes) to rest close to her husband and daughter. Others offer scope to reflect a more diverse array of places and people by enabling each of Oonagh's children to inter or scatter some of Oonagh's ashes in places they consider significant.

Religious identity and beliefs can bring with them strong convictions about how a body should be treated and disposed of. Some Roman Catholics - the tradition to which Oonagh and at least two of her surviving children belong - put a great deal of significance by bodily integrity in death and have a strong preference for burial over cremation. Some, as we see in this case story, accept cremation but do not like the idea of dividing someone's ashes when they are cremated. It is not clear from the case story how strongly Oonagh had preferred to be buried rather than cremated, but we note that neither her children nor Father Xavier voiced an opinion that she would have been strongly against cremation.

Oonagh herself had previously gone to the effort and expense of repatriating her daughter's and husband's bodies when they died, and she had travelled to visit their graves for as long as she was able. We might reasonably infer that both the Irish location and the symbolic reunion of family members in death mattered deeply to her. This is one rationale in support of cremating Oonagh's body and interring her ashes alongside the bodies of her husband and daughter in Ireland.

We cannot tell from the case story how persuasive this rationale might be to those of Oonagh's children who proposed a division and broader scattering of her cremains. The story doesn't tell us either how they respond to Donal's pointing out that the Catholic Church to which their mother belonged would expect Oonagh's ashes to be kept together and interred respectfully in one place. Many people try to respect the religious beliefs of the dead and (other) bereaved family members even if they don't share those beliefs, because of the deep significance people attach to them. It is thus quite possible that those of Oonagh's children who initially suggested differently might set aside their personal preferences and support the interring of Oonagh's cremains in a single urn.

The suggestions associated with dividing Oonagh's ashes seem intended to allow the different children to commemorate or memorialise their mother in ways that would be meaningful to them. It might therefore be helpful for them explore other ways in which they can commemorate or memorialise their mother without dividing her cremains. For example, Patrick might consider planting a tree or dedicating a bench to Oonagh at one of the places she enjoyed in New Zealand, and all the siblings might each be invited to retain an item of their mother's possessions, or even a lock of hair, instead of a portion of her ashes.

Scattering ashes - a Hindu perspective

In this commentary, Nawal Prinja of Vishwa Hindu Parishad UK (World Council of Hindus) explains Hindu practices of immersing ashes in flowing water. He also considers some of the challenges Hindus in the UK can experience in enacting their funeral rites.

Hindus almost always cremate the bodies of people who have died and usually immerse the ashes in flowing water - either a river or the sea. These traditions are rooted in beliefs about the body and the soul (or atman). They also reflect a strong Hindu commitment to understanding and respecting the natural world. In this commentary, I explain the key beliefs and consider some of the challenges and questions that Hindu families in the UK can face as they prepare to cremate and scatter the ashes of their dead.

Hinduism is an ancient religion that originated on the Indian subcontinent. Together with Jainism, Buddhism and Sikhism, which emerged later from the same region, it is known as a Dharmic faith. The concept of Dharma does not have a simple translation, and Hindus, Jains, Buddhists and Sikhs put somewhat different emphases on it, but it means something like “right way of living according to eternal laws of nature”.

People of Dharmic faiths believe that the body is transient while the soul or atman which inhabits it is permanent. The body is understood to be composed of five natural physical elements: earth, air, fire, water and space. When someone dies, their body should be returned to those five elements. This is important both as a matter of respect for the forces of nature and to ensure the soul or atman is released to continue its journey.

For people of Dharmic faiths, the scattering of ashes after cremation is a significant religious rite for the deceased. Many people consider it obligatory for bereaved family members to perform if at all possible. It marks the end of physical life and carries deep spiritual meaning as the mortal body is understood to have returned back to the elements and the eternal soul (atman) is understood to have been freed from the physical bonds - a state of emancipation that is variously called Moksha, Mukti or Nirvana.

The Hindu religious ritual of immersing the ashen remains of a deceased in a flowing river to be taken to the oceans is sanctioned in the ancient Hindu scripture Yajur Veda and is called Asthi Visarjan. The ritual for Sikhs is very similar, and the Sikh Rehat Maryada (Sikh Code of Conduct) also states that the ashes are to be disposed of by immersing them in the nearest river or sea.

Practical challenges in the UK context

Asthi Visarjan is the final homage for Hindus and is normally performed as soon as possible after death. In the UK, we sometimes struggle when there are delays to the completion of the official paperwork required before a cremation can go ahead or when (as was often the case in the first years of the COVID-19 pandemic) there is no availability for several days or even weeks or months at a crematorium.

Some crematoria in the UK are better equipped than others to enable Hindu families and Dharmic faith communities to witness the cremation from a viewing platform. The ability to do this is important because we see it as a religious duty to perform this last rite. Some crematoria are also more ready than others to allow the lighting of a lamp (which symbolises immortality of the soul) and to provide other appropriate religious symbols. For Hindus the appropriate symbol is usually the AUM symbol of ultimate reality, while for Sikhs it is usually the Ek Omkar symbol of the belief that there is only one God. When crematoria are less accommodating, families might have to consider whether to prioritise earlier availability, geographic convenience, or greater accommodation of religious need.

Hindu families collect the ashes into an urn for scattering. If the urn is biodegradable, it is also immersed in the flowing water. If it is not bio-degradable then it is re-cycled once the ashes have been scattered on the surface of the water.

The identification of a suitable place on a river or at sea may be a matter of some challenge and debate. Some Hindu families still prefer to take or send the ashes to India for scattering in the Ganga (Ganges), but many complete this final act of return of the body to its natural elements in UK waters. For those who can afford it, some commercial companies offer boat trips specifically for the purpose of scattering ashes. In some coastal locations, the RNLI (Royal National Lifeboat Institution) will welcome donations and take ashes to sea.

For land-based ceremonies we need accessible places from which to safely transfer the ashes into flowing water. There have been cases of people almost slipping into rivers while scattering a relative's ashes. We are also often looking for places where families can gather to do this peacefully, without disturbing others and without fear of racist abuse. Currently (December 2022) only two city councils, Cardiff and Leicester, have established a suitable platform along a riverbank. We hope that more will follow soon to develop inshore facilities with the sanctity and dignity to enable people to perform the last rite of Asthi Visarjan safely and peacefully. Meanwhile families continue to face difficult decisions that involve trade-offs between cost, geographic distance and travel convenience, and location suitability, including scope to accommodate more family and community members at the ceremony.

Greater flexibility within crematoria and the establishment of facilities for the safe and peaceful scattering of ashes onto water could also benefit people from other religious and cultural traditions who choose to cremate their dead. Of course, not everyone who cremates their dead wants to scatter their ashes, either in water or otherwise. In the case story, some of Oonagh's children were concerned not to split the cremated remains of Oonagh's body, which would go against the guidance of the Catholic church. In Hinduism, there is no belief in the resurrection of the body and no requirement to keep ashes together. Rather, as explained, it is the return of the body to the elements that matters.

Environmental considerations

Some people may raise eyebrows at the thought of Hindus (or others) polluting rivers and seas with ashes, but the Hindu traditions were developed within the context of a religious commitment to respect the natural environment. Research by the Environment Agency has established that even when an area of a river is used regularly for ash scattering ceremonies, the cremated remains have no measurable impact on water quality. Hindu tradition has always guided us to choose sites of flowing water, as now recommended by the Environment Agency. It is also consistent with Hindu respect for the natural environment to follow further recommendations from the Environment Agency to avoid scattering ashes close to other people or immediately upstream of places where water is taken from a river for human use, and to avoid leaving personal items or wreaths that might generate litter or harm animals.

Of course, there remain important concerns about the environmental impact of cremation - especially with some of the older and less energy efficient cremator technologies but, there are social and economic advantages when compared with burial in terms of land use particularly in crowded cities. Contributing to scientific research and technological development to reduce adverse environmental impact and better land usage would be entirely consistent with a Hindu commitment to understand and respect the natural world we all live in.

Diversity within a religion: reflections on Oonagh's Funeral from a Jewish perspective

Heather L Munro explains Jewish concerns about cremation, notes some diversity in approaches to Judaism, and considers the significance for some of place of burial.

As the commentary ' Navigating competing values and suggestions ' indicates, 'religious identity and beliefs can bring with them strong convictions about how a body should be treated and disposed of.' This is very true for Jewish communities. Jewish convictions relating to the preparation of a body for burial are discussed in the commentary Preparing a body for burial: a Jewish perspective . Here I explain why cremation is generally not acceptable within Jewish communities. Prompted by the story about Oonagh's family, I also consider some of the potential differences of opinion within Jewish families, including about the significance of burial in particular places.

Concerns about cremation

There are two reasons for the aversion to cremation within the Jewish world. The first has to do with interpretation of Jewish Law and the understanding that bodies should remain intact in death (see Preparing a body for burial: a Jewish perspective ). Cremation is considered by many religious Jews to be a desecration of the body. The second reason for aversions to cremation is the legacy of the Holocaust. During the Holocaust, as part of Hitler's 'Final Solution,' over 6 million Jews were murdered. Many of these murders occurred in death camps, like Sobibor, Treblinka, and Auschwitz-Birkenau, where Jews were killed en masse using gas chambers. The Nazis' solution to corpse disposal became cremation. This association means that even among Jews who are not religious, cremation is often considered unacceptable. Some Jews do, however, choose to be cremated.

Differences of opinion within families

The debate among family members with differences of opinion in Oonagh's story would feel familiar to Jews. There are a wide range of approaches to Judaism, from the strictly orthodox to liberal and progressive. While the full range of liberal to strictly religious is not usually present within a family, usually there is a milder variation among siblings, especially in large families. One child may have grown up to become more religious even than their parents and expect Jewish Law to be followed as strictly as possible. Another child will de-emphasise the religious and cultural norm of burying quickly and stress instead the importance of delaying a funeral so that all close family members have time to travel to attend. These conflicts and debates can be complex, and the religious counsel of a rabbi might be sought to help navigate them.

Place of interment

Although Jews tend to be interred in caskets, rather than cremated, Oonagh's family's debate about the location of a burial or ash scattering is salient. Outside the holy land, Jews need to be buried in ground which has been consecrated for the purpose - either a separate Jewish cemetery, or a Jewish section of a cemetery. Jews who have chosen cremation are not permitted to be either interred or have their ashes scattered in a Jewish cemetery.

Many Jews choose to be buried in Jerusalem. This is because many Jews believe that when the messiah comes, the bodies and souls of the dead will be resurrected and made whole again. The closer one is buried to the place where the messiah will enter, Zion Gate, the earlier one's resurrection will occur. Those Jews not buried in Jerusalem will be brought there via underground tunnels when the messiah comes. Another reason for Jews to choose Jerusalem or nearby is that the prophet Jacob specifically asked not to be buried in Egypt, but to be buried in the Holy Land. Most of the Jews who are buried in Jerusalem are interred in the large Jewish cemetery that scales the sides of the Mount of Olives or Har Hamenuchot, on the western side of the Old City. These graves are expensive, as is the process of transporting the body to the grave site. Some Jews pay more than a quarter of a million pounds for this privilege, because of the significance of the location in Jewish teachings around the coming of the messiah. Many Jews choose a cemetery located between Jerusalem and Tel Aviv in Israel, a more affordable option than Jerusalem itself. Often, Jews buried outside of the Holy Land today are buried with a handful of soil from Jerusalem in their coffins.

Logistically, it is not a simple task to arrange for the burial of a Jewish person in Israel if they died elsewhere. Even if a burial plot has been purchased, there is a bureaucratic process of paperwork that must be handled between the countries involved in the transportation of the body. Therefore, bodies are usually buried initially in a local Jewish cemetery and then transported to the Holy Land later. Families usually wait until after the 11-month mourning period but re-inter before the first anniversary of the death (for the significance of these mourning periods, see Mourning as a family and community practice: a Jewish perspective ).

Generally, exhumation is not permitted under Jewish Law, but it is allowed if it is being done in order for the body to be reinterred in the Holy Land. During early waves of the Covid-19 pandemic, when an overwhelming numbers of deaths were concentrated with a short span of time, the City of New York buried many of the deceased in temporary mass graves. This was particularly distressing to the families of religious Jews because it required exhumation before the appropriate rituals could be observed and the body of the deceased re-buried in a Jewish grave. The exceptions to the prohibition on exhumation, and the great expense and bureaucratic effort to which people sometimes go to arrange for burial overseas in Jerusalem, highlight the profound significance of place of burial for some communities.

Further resources

Kavod v'Nichum's Article on Burial in Jerusalem