Work-life balance has become somewhat of a zeitgeist of our time. We are often told, encouraged, or even feel a sense of pressure, both formally and informally, to strive for some semblance of ‘balance’, whether it’s for our career success, family well-being, mental health, or something in between. The term work-life balance remains rather elusive and means something different to everyone; however can be loosely defined as “the individual perception that work and non-work activities are compatible and promote growth in accordance with an individual’s current life priorities” .
In this blog I want to take some time to unpack what work-life balance really means. I draw on my own experience as Senior Lecturer and Undergraduate Business Management Program Leader, as well as mother, wife and so many other roles that I take on. In my own quest towards ‘balance’ I’m oftentimes finding myself constantly being pulled in one direction or another. Rather than achieving the perfect equilibrium, I end up exhausted and burnt out – running around in circles yet never fully achieving the goal of ‘balance’. I therefore consider whether work-life balance is realistic and achievable, or perhaps a mirage; but more importantly, whether it is in fact something we should be trying to achieve.
Multiple (and often competing) roles
We all take on multiple roles. For me those roles include mother, lecturer, nurturer, researcher, administrator, volunteer, homemaker, and many others. In an ideal world we would be able to compartmentalize each role, performing the duties associated with each role separately and neatly. In reality this process is oftentimes rather messy, with the responsibilities of these roles interfering and competing with one another. I write this blog while simultaneously watching my children play (and fight!) as I also keep an eye on dinner which is cooking in the oven. The literature calls this ‘spillover’ whereby the demands of family and work “carry over” into each other’s domains. As a result we are faced with the challenge of simultaneously meeting the demands and expectations of these roles, which oftentimes are both conflicting and competing with one another. For me, and perhaps you too, this spillover manifests into guilt. As a mum I feel guilty that I’m not there enough for my children because work responsibilities may pull me away; but then I also experience worker guilt when I feel I should be doing more professionally.
For many of you who know me, you will know that I always say that ‘university life does not happen in a vacuum’. As mentioned, we all wear multiple and often competing hats, and while your professional role of ‘student’ is salient in shaping your sense of self, it certainly does not define you. You are also not only a university student; you’re a son/daughter, parent, sibling, friend, employee, colleague and so much more, and enacting and performing these multiple and simultaneous roles will pull you in every direction possible. As the Program Leader for Undergraduate Business Management programs I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know you all a little bit better and I can completely understand and empathize with you when you say that you struggle with trying to ‘do it all’. Students have shared that they were unable to complete their assessment on time because of work or childcare responsibilities, or they missed class because they were driving their sick parent to hospital or had to babysit their younger siblings.
Trying to squeeze all the responsibilities associated with each role into an already over-packed and overflowing jar is not only overwhelming but can lead to stress and eventually burnout.
So what can we do?
This year’s International Women’s Day focused on breaking the bias associated with stereotypes and discrimination in the pursuit of a gender-equal world. So, what exactly does that entail in practical terms and in relation to this so-called ‘work-life balance’?
I have found that while the work/home or home/work spillover is inevitable, we need to find ways to ‘tame the dam’ to avoid us drowning. The key is being present and give your all in whatever role you take on, but also knowing when to push back and say no if you feel you have taken on too much: prioritizing your responsibilities and erecting firm boundaries. I’ve also learned in the power of support. Don’t hesitate to lean in on others to get support, whether its in the form of a study group, someone who may cook you a meal, or someone you can turn to for emotional support.
It is also critical for all of us to disconnect. Thanks to technology our work can trickle in, but often gushes, at times insidiously, into our homes. The Covid-19 pandemic unfortunately exacerbated this, and we collectively experienced every sphere of our lives (i.e. work, school, leisure, family, and everything else) all occupying the same space. With respect to work specifically, it’s always very tempting to check and reply to work emails when at home. However, I have found that is it also imperative to disconnect. I would encourage you all as students to allocate set times to study at home – creating space, both physically and mentally, to prepare for lectures and tutorials or work on assessments. However, also make sure you recharge your batteries, whether it’s engaging in leisure activities such as spending time with family and friends, travelling or going to the gym, or simply making time for yourself.
Finally, I feel it is important that we all question whether work-life balance is something that is even attainable. Perhaps in doing so we need to question existing stereotypes and biases projected onto us and associated with the roles we inhabit, and that we in turn internalize and take on. For instance, research has shown that norms associated with being a ‘good’ mother are oftentimes in conflict with normative understandings of being a ‘good’ professional. However, rather than succumbing to these expectations associated with the ideal mother, wife, student, sibling, colleague, friend, we reconstruct our own definitions of ‘good’ – in whatever capacity that may be.
Embrace the imbalance
It took me a long time to get here, but I’ve finally resigned to the notion that we simply cannot do it all. Rather than fighting for ‘balance’, we engage in a dance that is work-life tug of war – pulling and exserting effort when we need to, but also carefully pushing back; to take the little steps forward but also backwards, and at times pirouetting and circling back on demands when you’re ready to take them on.
Unlike the juggler who keeps all of their balls in the air, we learn to accept that it’s okay to place one, or even a few balls on the ground at a time. Perhaps only then may we start to normalize the reality of work-life imbalance….and be okay with that.
Being okay with imperfection.
Dr. Nadia DeGama is Programme Leader for Undergraduate Business Management Programmes
Sources
- Kalliath, T., & Brough, P. (2008). Work-life balance: A review of the meaning of the balance construct. Journal of Management & Organisation, 14, 323-327.
- Greenhaus J and Beutell N (1985) Sources of conflict between work and family roles. Academy of Management Review, 10: 76–88.
- Aarntzen, L., Derks, B., van Steenbergen, W., Ryan, M., & van der Lippe, T., (2019). Work-family guilt as a straightjacket. An interview and diary study on consequences of mothers’ work-family guilt. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 103336.
- Birchmeier, B., Dyck, E., Baker, K. P., Buhler, S., & Lebert, O. (2020). A collection of short takes on working from home. Journal of Scholarly Publishing, 51(4), 246-262.
- Cejka, M. A., & Eagly, A. H. (1999). Gender-stereotypic images of occupations correspond to the sex segregation of employment. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 25(4), 413–423.
It is also critical for all of us to disconnect. Thanks to technology our work can trickle in, but often gushes, at times insidiously, into our homes. The Covid-19 pandemic unfortunately exacerbated this, and we collectively experienced every sphere of our lives (i.e. work, school, leisure, family, and everything else) all occupying the same space[1]. With respect to work specifically, it’s always very tempting to check and reply to work emails when at home. However, I have found that is it also imperative to disconnect. I would encourage you all as students to allocate set times to study at home – creating space, both physically and mentally, to prepare for lectures and tutorials or work on assessments. However, also make sure you recharge your batteries, whether it’s engaging in leisure activities such as spending time with family and friends, travelling or going to the gym, or simply making time for yourself.
Finally, I feel it is important that we all question whether work-life balance is something that is even attainable. Perhaps in doing so we need to question existing stereotypes and biases projected onto us and associated with the roles we inhabit, and that we in turn internalize and take on. For instance, research has shown that norms associated with being a ‘good’ mother are oftentimes in conflict with normative understandings of being a ‘good’ professional[2]. However, rather than succumbing to these expectations associated with the ideal mother, wife, student, sibling, colleague, friend, we reconstruct our own definitions of ‘good’ – in whatever capacity that may be.
[1] Birchmeier, B., Dyck, E., Baker, K. P., Buhler, S., & Lebert, O. (2020). A collection of short takes on working from home. Journal of Scholarly Publishing, 51(4), 246-262.
[2]Cejka, M. A., & Eagly, A. H. (1999). Gender-stereotypic images of occupations correspond to the sex segregation of employment. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 25(4), 413–423.
