Blackhall, Sheena
Kirsty Ann hid a dall, a cooker, a worsit Teddy wi blue troosers, an a wee bit o
tribble. She wis AY nae-weel. Her mam cudna mind the nummer o times Doctor
Ewan hid cried inbye, fur it maun hae bin hunners. Whyles, Kirsty Ann hid a
rinny snoot, an fin her hose war rugged up tae her knees, an her playpiece
stapped inno her schulebag, she'd girn, 'Oh I canna ging tae schule the day.I jist canna. I'm richt nae weel."
An aff wad come the hose, the blazer, the wee grey uniform an the broon sheen,
an on wad ging the jammies, an Kirsty Ann wad treetle back tae bed. Bit if truth
be telt, Kirsty Ann wisna nae weel ava. Ye see, she LIKIT her bonnie wee
bedroom an her cosie wee bed, an her teds an her dallies an her hett watter
bottlie wi the elephant's heid. She LIKIT tae bide in bed, wi her ma fleein up n' doon stairs aa day, wi comics, an ale, an sweeties. An she LIKIT haein her da read stories an sing tae her, an gie her bosies. An mair nur yon, she likit Dr
Ewan veesitin. He wis fat an frienly wi glaisses that cobblet on the pynt o his
neb, an he telt KirstyAnn jokes.
He wore tweed jaikets that yoamed o baccy an he caad his sheen 'Hush Puppies'. He telt Kirsty Ann they were caad that because his sheen really WAR puppies,
bit he'd tae tell them tae hush, cause some fowk keepit cats, an ithers didna like dogs, sae his sheen jist barked at nicht.
'Dearie me, Kirsty Ann's nae-weel again,' he'd ay say. 'We'll hae tae cheenge her
name tae Peely Wally. We'll hae tae makk her better.' Syne he'd open his case an takk oot Mr Stethoscope, a rubber thingummy like an octopus, cauld an kittly, an listen tae her chest. He stappit twa o Mr Stethoscope's legs inno his lugs, an telt Kirsty Ann tae sook in.
An Kirsty Ann gowpit doon air like an oot o the watter troot. Syne he'd say
'Gweed quine' an turn her ower an listen tae the rochles in her back.
'Naething adee there," he'd say, an scrat his heid. 'We'd better takk a wee teet
inno yer lugs.' Syne oot wad come a licht like a pencil, an Dr Ewan wad shine it inno Kirsty Ann's lugs.
"Div Ye ken this?" he wad say, 'I can see richt throw."
At the hinneren, he keekit doon her mou. "Say AH like a fine lassie,' he telt her.
"I wint tae luik doon yer tunnel fur engines." An Kirsty Ann raxxed her chooks like a crocodile aboot tae snap. Her ma ay thankit Dr Ewan fur veesitin, bit whyles, he luikit a thochtie pit oot. Ae day, fin he'd feenished examinin her, Kirsty Ann creepit tae the stairheid tae hear fit he wis sayin tae her mither.
'I dinna think I can dae onymair fur Kirsty Ann,' he wis sayin. "It's the warst
case o Lang-lie-itis I've iver seen'
Kirsty Ann got a terrible fleg. Fit WIS lang-lie-itis? Wad aa her teeth come oot,
like granny's did fin she gaed tae bed? She sterted tae feel richt nae-weel. There
wis nae sign o plooks on her physog, like Jimmy Shaw hid fin he tuik measles.
She heard her mither comin upstairs, an lowpit back inno bed. This time, her
ma WISNA cairryin sweeties or comics or juice. She wis carrying a big green mixture bottle an a great muckle speen.
'Dr Ewan says,' quo her mither, 'that wee quines wi lang-lie-itis hiv tae takk this mixture three times a day till they're weel again.'
She speened a jeelip o the nesty green mixture doon Kirsty Ann's thrapple.
'COWK,' quo Kirsty Ann. 'FEECH,'quo Kirsty Ann. 'GYAD-SAKE!' quo
Kirsty Ann. 'I'd like tae rise noo, ma. I'm feelin iist fine.'
'The mixture seems tae hae wirked,' agreed her ma. Dr Ewan's a clivver doctor, isn't he noo!'
Kirsty Ann noddit.
'Bit I dinna think we'll need him again fur a lang lang time," she said.
An dae ye ken this? They didna.