Support

If a friend, colleague or student decides to tell you about an incident of sexual violence or harassment that they have suffered from, you may not know how to respond. Here are some dos and don'ts on how to respond.

Do:

• Listen: let them say what they need to say and let them know you are listening. Don't interrupt or ask lots of questions. It may be difficult for you to hear but this person wants to open up to you and wants to get this off their chest, so let them take their time.
• Believe them: Lying about sexual violence or harassment is extremely rare. It is important that they know you believe them.
• Stress that it's not their fault: they may blame themselves, but it is never the victim's fault. Make sure they know that.
• Acknowledge their courage: talking about their experiences means that the victim is having to relive it in some way, it takes a lot of courage to do that.
• Let them stay in control: Victims may feel powerless, giving them control over what to do next can help. They should decide if they want to report, where and when to seek medical attention and what support options to use. By all means help them in booking appointments or even accompanying them if they want you to but make sure to respect their decisions.

Don't:

• Push them into telling you anything they aren't ready to talk about: don't ask lots of questions as they may not want to answer them just yet.
  
• Judge: it is never the victims fault so don't ask questions like 'how much did you drink?' or 'what were you wearing?'.
  
• Ask why they waited to tell you. It takes a lot of courage to speak out and it may have taken time to build up this courage.
  
• Ask them why they didn't fight back. Our body's response to terrifying situations is often out of our control, we may run, freeze or fight. Freezing is a very common response in cases of sexual violence and a victim should not be judged for doing so.

Self-Care

Responding to a disclosure can be a traumatic experience and you should seek support if you feel you need it. You should never disclose a victim's experiences without their permission but you can talk confidentially to a number of services including HR (staff), Student Support or an external service like Rape Crisis and for more information on other services visit the External Services tab.

If you have any questions or concerns regarding sexual violence, harassment or an incident you just don't think was OK, you can speak to a member of the Student Advice and Support Office team.

• by email
• visit the website

Students in Qatar should contact the Student Hub Team.

• by email

Out of Hours contact

If you need to speak to someone when the Student Advice and Support Office is closed.

• contact NHS out of hours service on 111 - NHS out-of-hours
• call Student Helpline on 0808 196 2707 from the UK or 00353 1518 0277 from overseas
• Text "Hi" to 00353 87 369 0010 on WhatsApp
• In an emergency call 999 to be directed to the help you need

There are a number of support options for staff.

• HR Partners
• Employee Assistance Programme
• Workplace Dignity Network
• Mental Health First Aiders
• Trade Union

Staff in Qatar should contact HR - hr@afg-aberdeen.edu.qa.

Traumatic events can result in different responses. If you are a survivor of sexual violence or harassment, however you feel is a valid response. Everyone responds differently.

Remember that you are not to blame. It was not your fault and you are not alone.

If you are struggling to cope after being a victim, witnessing or having someone disclose to you, we strongly recommend you seek professional help and advice. The University is here to support you. For mental health issues we have the following services;

Students:

• Student Support can assist you.
• Student Counselling Service

Staff:

• Employee Assistance Programme
• Workplace Dignity Network

There are also a number of charities and services which can support you. Please check on the tab below, a list of External Services and short descriptions of how they can help.

Although we recommend seeing professional help where possible, there are a number of self-care options.

• One in Four has a series of exercises from their 'The Warrior Within' handbook. You can work through them in any order and can work alongside professional counselling. https://oneinfour.org.uk/self-care/. Includes things like starting an activity journal, taking up physical exercise and identifying your triggers.

Remember that everyone reacts differently in response to traumatic events, and that's OK. In the same way, everyone finds different ways of managing their mental health. It might be painting, going for a run, spending time with friends, writing a journal, taking up a new hobby etc. Find what works for you.

Sexual Violence can result in a range of physical and mental trauma.

• advice on Mental Health, can be found on the Worried about Mental Health tab above.

If you need emergency medical attention, call 999.

If you have been a victim of sexual violence you may need some time to process what has happened, and you may decide that you do not wish to report the incident. These are your choices and not making an official report does not prevent you from seeking support.

However it is very important that you seek medical help as soon as possible after the incident. This is because of the risk of pregnancy or STIs. You may also have cuts, bruises or other injuries which need to be seen to. The following services can provide the medical help you need.

• A doctor or practice nurse at your GP: you should try to be seen as soon as possible, to do this you can ask for an emergency appointment.
  • Find your GP's phone number or address
    
    
• NHS 111: Call 111 for out of hours support, this is also useful if you are not registered with a local GP. If your GP surgery is not open, you can call 111 for an emergency hospital appointment, during GP hours you can speak to a nurse on the 111 phone number.
  
  
• Sexual Health Clinic: 0345 337 9900.
  The clinic is inside Aberdeen Community Health and Care Village on Fredrick Street.
  Victims of sexual violence are given priority appointments.
  
  
• You can also go directly to A&E. The closest one to the University is at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary. You can see if you are currently closer to a different A&E by searching the location or postcode.

If you decide to report to the police you can do so by calling 999 (if the situation is currently an emergency) or 101, they will be able to refer you for a forensic medical exam and assess your physical health.
Read more information on forensic medical exams at nhs.uk.

Remember you don't have to go through any of this alone. You can take a trusted person with you to any appointments you make, or ask them to help you make the booking.

As with all medical information held by the NHS, your details will be held as confidentially as possible by all the services listed above.

The University aims to provide all the support that we can to assist with you recovery and ensure the mental and physical wellbeing of all staff and students. However, there are a number of local and nationwide services that provide free and independent support and services.

Below you will find a list of services with a brief description of how they can help. It includes services that can assist in both your mental and physical wellbeing. We will be updating this list as we learn about new services in the area.

You will also find information and specific resources and support here.